Can Abilities Be Matched?
While organising our all India across disability matrimonial meet, we advertise in leading newspapers. We receive lots of enquiries from across India.
Around half of them begin this way:
“I have son/daughter for whom I am looking for a suitable match”.
When we enquire about candidate’s disability or inform them that this platform is especially focused towards disabled, few of the replies are:
“Disability… … ? ?”,
“What do you mean?”,
“Oh! no no no”.
“Why should one marry a disabled person?”
On the other hand, when a person with a disability or their family members call, the conversation begins like this:
“My son/daughter has a slight disability. S/he can manage everything on her/his own. No one will even come to know that my daughter or son is disabled.”
Then: “We are looking for someone with a lesser degree of disability”
Or: “We are looking for non-disabled partners; even someone from a lesser economic or educational background will be accepted.”
In the first scenario people look for suitability, whereas its reverse in the other scenario, they look for a lesser degree of disability.
A couple of years ago, one of our woman candidates asked me a very simple question “Men with complete blindness seeks bride with partial vision and whereas partially sighted men look for non-disabled or with another disability. Then where should a completely blind woman go? Do they even get an option of being wanted or to select a partner?”
This question still haunts me.
Each time I end a call from a non-disabled candidate or their family members, I feel “Why is it so important to match disabilities?”
“Why does one with disability behaves like a non-disabled person?”.
When we have accepted our own disability, have found solutions and have overcome our hurdles, and to an extent even feel proud about this, why can’t we accept someone else’s disability?
Each of us knows, feels and understands the fact that it’s easier for a person with a disability to understand them compared to non-disabled. But when we look for a life partner we look for someone who can read for us, drive our car or in simple words can perform the tasks which we can’t do.
Are we behaving rightly? Are we treating our community members equal or at par to ourselves? Don’t we need to get ourselves sensitised first?
Ponder about these when you’re looking for a partner for yourself of a loved one. And register for the across disability matrimonial event to be held in Mumbai on
Date: Saturday, 2nd February 2019
Time: 9 am to 3 pm
Register before 20 Jan at: https://goo.gl/forms/JpCvxGaA8JV8Gwjm2